Radio silence

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That’s been my motto for the last…um, when was my last post again?

September is one of my (several) REALLY busy months for work which has meant that in the last week two weeks I was in the office two days. Not that I’m complaining. My time not in the office consisted of participating in an environmental education event for 6th graders at one of the most beautiful campgrounds in Colorado for a week, then hanging out at the farmers market repping my organization for a day, then heading out on an overnight trip down the Colorado River with a local AP Environmental Studies class.

This isn’t us, but (with a little more driving rain) this is pretty much what we looked like.

I don’t have any photos I can share on the blog – they’re all of me with kids under 18 who didn’t sign photo release waivers (and even if they did, my blog probably isn’t the most appropriate use for them…) but let’s just say my last two weeks outside with kids was a lot of fun! Also, a great reminder that when I submit my application to MSU in 5(!!!) days, I’m taking the first step on a life-changing path. Over the last two weeks I’ve had some time to think about it: is this the right step for me? Am I kidding myself because I got a little bored this summer? Am I a fool to walk away from an incredible job like this?

These questions haunt me a lot. I love the work I do right now, but the more I think about it, the more I think about my life 5, 10, even 20 years from now (what will I be like when I’m 45?) I just know that I can’t keep this up. These weekends, evenings, giving all my love and energy to something that’s not myself or my family. It works for now, it works while we build this organization from the ground up. But for the rest of my life I’m going to need a little more control over things. I’m going to need a regular schedule so I can pick the kids up from school and go to their games/recitals/concerts. I’m going to need time to cook dinner and make breakfast and not be completely exhausted for months on end. I love the work I do right now, but this path I’m choosing is the right choice for me.

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